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Support for Adolescents

Getting Through It

  • Accept your loss as final. This is the first step in healing.
  • Allow yourself to feel the hurt. You can't heal what you don't feel.
  • You can't escape through drugs or alcohol. Allow the natural healing process to take place.
  • Talk. Find a friend, family member or counsellor with whom you can share.
  • Laugh. You can laugh and still love the person who died. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can.
  • Write your feelings. Creativity is a great way to express your feelings. Write or draw, on paper or the computer.
  • Reach out to old, or make new friends. They can be your best source of support.
  • Find a support group. Sharing with others who are dealing with the same issues as you can be helpful.
  • Help someone else. Take the focus off yourself and reinvest your energy in others. This may help you begin to fill the emptiness in your heart.
  • Meet with a professional counsellor. These are difficult days. If you feel you need additional support and understanding, ask.
    Adapted from "Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers", by Earl A. Grollman

When Someone in Your Family Dies

You may feel:

  alone different confused
  angry guilty hopeless
  frustrated tired numb
  jealous disorganized deeply saddened

You may worry about:

  • your own death
  • the death of another family member
  • who will take care of you

You may find changes in your:

  • family
  • relationships with other family members
  • friends and how they relate to you

You may find it difficult to:

  • talk to your family about how you feel
  • see other family members in pain
  • cope with school

Remember:

  • your feelings of emptiness are normal
  • grief is a long process
  • you will be able to concentrate again, laugh again
  • give your self time This is all a normal part of grieving.

Books that may Help

Mama's Going to Buy You a Mockingbird
Jean Little
Ordinary People
Judith Guest
Diary of Trilby Frost
Diane Glaser
Flapjack Waltzes
Nancy Hope Wilson
Living When a Young Friend Commits Suicide
Earl Grollman and Max Malikow
Losing Someone You Love: When a Brother or Sister Dies
Elizabeth Richter
When a Friend Dies
Marilyn Gootman
Motherless Daughters
Hope Edelman


Bereaved Families of Ontario - York Region
17070 Yonge Street, Suite 203, Newmarket ON L3Y 8Z4
905-898-6265 · 1-800-969-6904 · (fax) 905-898-5870
bfoyr@bellnet.ca