• ACCEPT your loss as final. This is the first step in healing.
• ALLOW yourself to feel the hurt. You can't heal what you don't feel.
• You can't escape through drugs or alcohol. Allow the natural healing process to take place.
• TALK. Find a friend, family member or counsellor with whom you can share.
• LAUGH. You can laugh and still love the person who died. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can.
• WRITE your feelings. Creativity is a great way to express your feelings. Write or draw, on paper or the computer.
• REACH OUT to old, or make new friends. They can be your best source of support.
• FIND a support group. Sharing with others who are dealing with the same issues as you can be helpful.
• HELP someone else. Take the focus off yourself and reinvest your energy in others. This may help you begin to fill the emptiness in your heart.
• MEET with a professional counsellor. These are difficult days. If you feel you need additional support and understanding, ask.

Adapted from "Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers", by Earl A. Grollman

When Someone in Your Family Dies

You may feel:

You may worry about

• your own death
• the death of another family member
• who will take care of you

You may find changes in your:

• family
• relationships with other family members
• friends and how they relate to you

You may find it difficult to:

• talk to your family about how you feel
• see other family members in pain
• cope with school

Remember:

• your feelings of emptiness are normal
• grief is a long process
• you will be able to concentrate again, laugh again
• give your self time This is all a normal part of grieving.

Books in our Library

A Student Dies, a School Mourns - Ralph L. Klicker

Closing the Gap: A strategy for bringing parents and teens together - Jay McGraw

Dead is a Four Letter Word - John Kennedy Saynor

Facing Change - Donna O'Toole

Fire in My Heart. Ice in My Veins - Enid Samuel-Traisman, M.S.W.

Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens - Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Losing Someone You Love: When a brother or sister dies - Elizabeth Richter

Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers - Earl A. Grollman

Teens Speak Out… - High School Students

The Privilege of Youth - Dave Pelzer

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens - Sean Covey

When Death Walks In - Mark Scrivani

You Are Not Alone - Lynne B. Hughes

Websites

SoulIISoul: Death, Loss and Grief Uncensored

Soul II Soul is a youth program offering supoprt to young people who have experienced a death in their family or circle of friend. Created by Bereaved Families of Ontario - Toronto.

Grieving Children at Seasons Centre

Based in Barrie, Grieving Children at Seasons Centre provides child-directed support within a peer-to-peer group in a non-judgmental, non-discriminatory safe, home-like atmosphere for children, teens and their families grieving the death of a loved-one; supporting them as they adjust emotionally, to regenerate a sense of self and reconstruct their world.

Winston's Wish

Winston's Wish, a charity for bereaved children, helps young people re-adjust to life after the death of a parent or sibling.

RD4U

A website developed by Cruse Bereavement Care's Youth Involvement Project which aims to support young people, after the death of someone close to them. RD4U means the "road for you".

The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families

Provides support in a safe place where children, teens, young adults, and their families grieving a death can share their experiences.

Supports for Adolescents

There are different supports that we offer youth. The following are some of the supports available.

Initial One-on One
The youth has an opportunity to meet with someone on a one-on-one basis. This provides them with the opportunity to talk about their loved one, what they are going through, how they are coping and what their support system looks like.

Missing Pieces, one day workshop
This is a one day workshop for youth (grade 9-12), who have experienced the death of a loved one. They may be grieving the death of a family member or close friend. The goal of this workshop is to provide a safe, non-judgmental opportunity for teens to share with each other their experiences, feelings and thoughts about the person who has died. We will have small and large group discussions, as well as various activities throughout the day.

Presentations for youth at their high school, sports group, etc.
These can be tailored to the needs of the youth. Presentations can be made to high school students in Family Studies or Parenting classes, sport groups, high school classes or activity groups may experience the death of a coach or team mate. We can talk with the group about what they can expect and what is common during the grieving process.