• Accept your loss as final. This is the first step in healing.
• Allow yourself to feel the hurt. You can't heal what you don't feel.
• You can't escape through drugs or alcohol. Allow the natural healing process to take place.
• Talk. Find a friend, family member or counsellor with whom you can share.
• Laugh. You can laugh and still love the person who died. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can.
• Write your feelings. Creativity is a great way to express your feelings. Write or draw, on paper or the computer.
• Reach out to old, or make new friends. They can be your best source of support.
• Find a support group. Sharing with others who are dealing with the same issues as you can be helpful.
• Help someone else. Take the focus off yourself and reinvest your energy in others. This may help you begin to fill the emptiness in your heart.
• Meet with a professional counsellor. These are difficult days. If you feel you need additional support and understanding, ask.

Adapted from "Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers", by Earl A. Grollman

When Someone in Your Family Dies

You may feel:

You may worry about:

• your own death
• the death of another family member
• who will take care of you

You may find changes in your:

• family
• relationships with other family members
• friends and how they relate to you

You may find it difficult to:

• talk to your family about how you feel
• see other family members in pain
• cope with school

Remember:

• your feelings of emptiness are normal
• grief is a long process
• you will be able to concentrate again, laugh again
• give your self time This is all a normal part of grieving.

Books that may Help

Mama's Going to Buy You a Mockingbird

Jean Little

Ordinary People

Judith Guest

Diary of Trilby Frost

Diane Glaser

Flapjack Waltzes

Nancy Hope Wilson

Living When a Young Friend Commits Suicide

Earl Grollman and Max Malikow

Losing Someone You Love: When a Brother or Sister Dies

Elizabeth Richter

When a Friend Dies

Marilyn Gootman

Motherless Daughters

Hope Edelman